Why, why am I doing this to myself? Why am I tasting vegan cream cheese again?! Well, the only vegan cream cheese that our kid would eat has disappeared from existence. I knew it was bad news when they had a close out sale of 2 for 1 at the end of last year. I bought out my close grocery store, I bought out the grocery store near my work, and gradually began to prepare for end times. From our previous taste test, I knew that Tofutti was out second favorite brand, so I bought a couple of those. And, that might have gone well, until we accidentally spread Toffuti sour cream on bagels for a week wondering why in the world was it so soft? And did it always taste like this? The answer was clearly no, it did not always taste like that.
Having burned that bridge, first on the tasting menu was
Philadelphia’s new plant based cream cheese. I spied it a few months ago and
thought it was a worth a try. Philadelphia is definitely the brand I think of
when I think cream cheese, so I crossed my fingers as I opened the container. The
texture is firmer than dairy cream cheese, but still spreadable. First seconds
of tasting it and I thought we had a winner- it tasted creamy and tart and
maybe like the real thing? Nope. The after taste erased any pleasant thoughts I
had. Do you remember the popcorn tasting Daiya cream cheese? Well, this brought
all those memories back. What are they putting in there that tastes like
popcorn? Ok, let’s say that that flavor tastes exactly like dairy cream cheese
for 2 seconds. It’s not worth the aftertaste of popcorn. It’s just not! Stop
doing it! What is wrong with people?!
Seed to Spoon Strawberry
Okay, next up, I saw a strawberry flavored version at Wegmans. Strawberry, while maybe not delicious on a turkey bagel sandwich, had the potential to be game changing. What better way to cover up something not being dairy than adding another flavor? And strawberry cream cheese would be good for spreading on graham crackers or dipping some cereal into. The packaging is great, too. My kids immediately wanted to try it. It’s one of the softest ones I’ve tried- easy to spread on things, but just disappeared into a toasted bagel. The strawberry flavor doesn’t quite cover the “I’m not real dairy” taste, but luckily for everyone involved, there’s no hint of popcorn. I think it’s okay as long as you aren’t too aggressive with how much you smear on. My kids, though, were not fans.
Violife
Last chance was Violife. Somehow, Violife had missed all of our previous taste tests despite being a well known brand for dairy alternatives. Their smoked gouda cheese is the only fake cheese I’ve enjoyed (in this case the smoke flavor works hard to cover the fake cheese taste). Other reviews I have read online said it just doesn’t have a lot of taste. Strangely, they made that seem like a bad thing. If I’ve learned anything from my time spend in the diary replacement world it’s that things rarely taste like the real thing. So if it’s not going to taste like the real thing, I’d much rather it taste like nothing that like popcorn. Violife’s texture is medium, its initial taste is pretty mellow (though a bit like the Philadelphia one), and best of all it’s after taste is also mellow. There is still a hint of popcorn, but if you are eating it with anything else it’s easy to overlook.
Is Violife as good a normal cream cheese? No! Will I eat it
on a bagel? Yes! Did my kid eat it? Finally, yes!
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