Taste Test: Vegan Cream Cheese (Part II)

We are stocked up for the vegan cream cheese apocalypse.

The most terrible thing happened at the beginning of this year. The vegan cream cheese at the grocery store was out. I tried not to fret; this had happened for a week or two before. I went to look at two other stores in my town and one store by work and I began to become concerned. There was not a Follow Your Heart cream cheese tub in sight. Luckily, a family member tracked some down a few towns over, arrived with 5 (FIVE!) tubs, and saved the day.

As the weeks wore on (we go through a tub a week), I began to accept the inevitable. We would once again be forced to try other vegan cream cheeses (here's my original cream cheese alternative taste test). However, this taste test has a caveat- it’s performed by a family who has not had real cream cheese in over a year. I will make no judgement on whether or not the different “cream cheeses” taste like actual cream cheese since I do not remember how actual cream cheese tastes. Only if they tastes okay. So… HERE. WE. GO.

New and improved deliciously dairy-free? I'll be the judge of that.

Daiya

If you remember correctly, we had this one in the first taste test and it tasted like popcorn. This one promises that it's "new and improved." So the only important question is: does it still taste like popcorn?

Yes. Of course it does.

Do yourself a favor and don't buy this kind.

Bring on the cashews! Look, the apostrophe is a heart. This one is going to be great, right? Right?!

Miyoko’s Creamery

This one I was super excited about it. I had been eyeing it at Whole Food’s for a while, but couldn’t have it last taste test because my kid hadn’t eaten cashews yet. It’s only got 4 ingredients! Cashew milk, coconut cream, salt, and cultures. That sounds good, right? Cashews? Delicious. Coconut cream? Yes, please. Salt? Sure. Cultures? Like yogurt??? That can’t be that bad, right?

This had SOME FLAVOR. It’s like close to cream cheese but too tangy. Way too tangy. It’s not a cashew flavor. And it’s not a coconut flavor. It's like somebody left their yogurt out too long and then tried to pass it off as cheese. Nobody else in the family will eat it. The only way I’ve been able to take it is to eat it on a bagel as an elaborate sandwich with deli turkey, ketchup, and spinach to mellow it out.

Store brand cream cheese alternative that's made of butter beans? What could possibly go wrong?

Simple Truth Organic

I bought this when I had lost all hope that Follow Your Heart would ever be back. It’s mostly made from coconut oil, butter beans, oats. Butter beans seem like a weird choice but I thought maybe it was a cheap substitution for fava beans (which have a cheesy taste… apparently). The ingredients really go off the rails, though, when they added agave. Why do people think that cream cheese needs to be sweet? Sugar, while usually good at covering up wayward flavors, is not a welcome flavor on an everything bagel and I do NOT want it in my cream cheese. This stuff is strangely sweet and not for me. How are we going to use it up? I'm going to embrace the agave and make some cream cheese icing.

"No Butterfat" seems like a weird marketing choice, but what do I know?

Tofutti

This was by far our favorite second place. If we can’t follow our hearts, we will definitely eat some soy. My kid loves eating tofu plain so it really shouldn’t be a surprise that she liked Tofutti. It’s got a very neutral taste, which over a year without real dairy is exactly what we want. I don’t really need it to taste like cheese cheese, I just want something creamy to smear on a bagel. Tofutti, which has been around a long time (1981!) is definitely a pioneer in the dairy free space- online it says that it initially started to help people keep Kosher. It’s neutral, creamy, good. But, not great if you are allergic to soy.

Guys. Just when I had lost all hope, Follow Your Heart magically appeared FULLY STOCKED at my local grocery store. I spotted it for an aisle away, glowing with its cream cheese goodness. I picked up a conservative two tubs (I didn’t want to be the reason another family had to go without their favorite nondairy cream cheese substitute) and dug in. But, it wasn’t exactly the same as before. The texture was softer, which actually makes it easier to spread on bagels and crackers. When I checked the ingredient list, fava bean extract was gone. Was some global fava bean supply chain shortage the reason we had to live in cream cheese purgatory for so long? Even with the change in ingredients, the taste was the same. Neutral. Creamy. Delicious. Dearest Follow Your Heart, may you never leave us for so long ever again.