How to be an Allergy Ally

 

When I first envisioned this blog, my main goal was to complain about how much I hate food allergies. I guess, maybe, to give advice to other parents with kids with food allergies to make their lives easier. But mostly to complain, you know?  Because there is a lot of good information online on how to keep your kid safe from food allergies once they are diagnosed, but those websites are very informative but super impassive. It’s: here’s how to check a food label! Not: man, checking food labels gets old. It’s: here’s how to replace eggs in your muffins. Not: have fun eating your rubbery brick!

But, I think some people who are reading this don’t have kids with food allergies and are completely new to the world of dangerous foods being everywhere you look. Luckily, in addition to knowing some tricks to feeding a kid with food allergies, I also have some tricks on how to be a better community member to kids with food allergies. In the before times, I tried to accommodate other kids- when bringing in treats for my son’s birthday, I knew that one of his friends had an allergy to eggs, so I made scones to share with everybody. I knew not to send peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to school (because it’s a written rule for his preschool), but I honestly had no idea what other foods my kid ate that had common allergens. So here are some things you can do, even if you aren’t living with a kid with food allergies.

Be aware when you are eating the top 9 allergens in public

Any food can cause an allergic reaction, but these are the most likely to cause a severe one: peanuts, tree nuts, milk, eggs, soy, wheat, shellfish, fish, and sesame.

I think it’s good to know these top ones and just carry that awareness with you when you eat these things. You never know when somebody is around that is allergic. The biggest thing that drives me bonkers is kids eating snacks at a public place and then coming up to talk to my kid. A few weeks ago, we were at the park and there was another family- young toddler, little kid, and grandma. The young toddler, who was about my youngest’s age, came over and clearly wanted to talk and interact with my kid. The grandma started asking questions about how old my kids were and all I could think about was that the toddler was covered (and I mean COVERED) in cheese dust with what I can only assume is diary milk spilled all over their onesie. Hands and face looked like they had making out with Chester the Cheeto cheetah. Did I want to my kid to learn how to meet and talk to other people? Definitely. Did I physically pick her up and move her away from Chester’s BFF? I did. I mumbled something about “food allergies, sorry,” but I am not sure the grandma understood. After all, the kid was just eating goldfish and drinking milk! No peanuts in sight! In another life, I would have been confused, too.

This happened a few months ago, too, at the zoo. This time, the cute little kid was eating ice cream. It was hot. The ice cream was dripping. We were already in a conversation with the other mom when the liquid poison carrier waddled over. We explain about the food allergies and the other mom quickly snatched up her little one. But it was a conversation ender. We looked like crazy people for keeping our kid away from other kids and the other adult felt bad. Like they shouldn’t let their kid interact with anybody else.

Wash your hands AFTER eating

Generally, to have a food allergy reaction, the person has to actually consume the food. The only exception I know of is cooking shellfish. For peanuts, my allergist told me that to have a reaction to inhaling peanuts, everyone on the entire airplane would have to open their peanut pouches at the exact same time to release enough peanut dust. And that would only affect the person is they were extremely sensitive.

This means that you can safely eat foods with allergens near somebody with allergies- you just have to keep your food to yourself. The problem with food allergies and babies is how much babies like to put things in their mouths. So, after eating foods with allergens, to make sure you don’t accidentally leave a smear of peanut butter on a block that another kid chews on, you should wash everybody’s hands. With soap and water. Hand sanitizer doesn’t cut it here. The alcohol in hand sanitizer kills germs, but it doesn’t wash away anything off your hands. If you are somewhere without soap and water, then using a wipe and thoroughly wiping off your hands is the next best thing.

Now when we go to the park, if we bring a snack with us, I always wipe off my kids’ hands before setting them loose. Almost all of their snacks have wheat in them and who knows when a poor little guy with a wheat allergy is going to come along, either to say hi to my kids or to lick the hand rail.

Have separate serving utensils at get togethers

For birthday parties and family reunions I know my kid isn’t going to be able to eat the cake. Cakes are a minefield of top allergens. But maybe there’s something she can eat- like fresh fruit. The thing is, to keep those safe things safe, we need to make sure the cake spatula doesn’t come anywhere near the fruit and the fruit ladle doesn’t come anywhere near the yogurt dipping sauce. More utensils mean more dishes to clean but ultimately a much safer party.

Teach your kids about food allergies

Guys. A few years ago, a 13-year-old kid threw cheese at a kid with multiple food allergies, and because of complete ineptitude by his teacher and multiple adults in the “welfare office”, the kid died. Horrifying. It’s unclear what happened to the kid and adults involved, but you better believe I would pursue repercussions to the fullest extent of the law. Negligence. Manslaughter. I would want lives ruined. For a few weeks earlier in the summer, it seemed like every time I signed on to twitter, Kids With Food Allergies (@kfatweets) would have another horrifying story about bullying. Nearly 35% of kids with food allergies over the age of 5 are bullied about their food allergies! Their blog focuses on what the parents of kids with food allergies can do to prevent bullying- but what about the actual bullies?

When my oldest was little, we did talk about food allergies a little bit- we talked about how there are things that some kids in his class can’t eat. His best friend is allergic to sesame and we talked about how his best friend couldn’t eat hummus. Never did it cross my mind that I should also tell him PLEASE DON’T FLICK YOUR HUMMUS AT YOUR FRIEND, but maybe I should have? If the 13-year-old that threw the cheese had known about food allergies, would he have still thrown it? I hope not. I know that teenagers are mean, but they aren’t that mean, right?

Just like we’ve instituted a wash your hands after you eat rule, we could also institute a “never throw food because you don’t know who could be allergic to that food” rule. And a “just because your friend can’t eat a normal cookie doesn’t mean you can make fun of him” rule. Food allergies suck enough without adding on bullying.

 

So. Let’s make the world a food allergy friendlier place! Wash your hands! Keep your food to yourself! And don’t make fun of kids who can’t eat everything you can.