The good, the bad, the COVID

 

It’s been a crazy 15 months- toilet paper shortages, getting used to wearing masks all the time, attempting zoom with two toddlers (it’s not fun, guys, not fun). These are not things I thought my year 2020 would hold. You know what else I didn’t see coming? Food allergies. And just like everything else, COVID19 has made dealing with food allergies a lot more interesting. As we maybe, slowly, hopefully start to approach life pre pandemic, I can’t stop thinking about how the quarantine has made learning to live with food allergies easier and harder.

THE GOOD

Well, we stopped eating out. Not that we were eating out every day, but it was definitely something for our family to do. Because we haven’t been out to eat as a family, we haven’t yet had to deal with trying to discuss actual, life threatening food allergies with waitstaff. I am definitely not looking forward to that conversation. COVID19 forcing us to eat at home? Definitely a plus for dealing with food allergies.

THE BAD

You know when they had all those signs to shop as quickly as possible? Well, you know what really slows down your shopping? Checking ingredient labels. The looks that I got when I picked a box off the shelf, checked to see if it was safe for my kid, saw that it wasn’t, and PUT IT BACK ON THE SHELF. Guys. It is good people had half their faces covered so I only got half of the look of disdain they were giving me. Cyclops laser eyes have nothing on pandemic judgmental shoppers.

THE GOOD

Being stuck at home over the holidays had one great side effect: I was in charge of all of the cooking. And everything I made- from vegan stuffing to garlic free gravy to sun butter cookie bites with milk free chocolate chips- were safe for my kid. No family potlucks trying to keep food separate. No dessert spreads with deadly peanut butter balls. No explaining why my kid can’t try the food. Not eating with relatives led to a whole lot less holiday stress for me.

THE BAD

Food shortages are a much bigger problem when there’s only certain foods your kid can eat. Out of that one brand name almond butter? Previously, no problem. Now, when all the other brands are processed with peanuts, a big deal. I’m definitely not a coupon bargain hunter, shopping around for the best deal. I have one grocery store that I know where everything is, I go to that one grocery store, and I get everything I need for the week. So when my grocery store was out of vegan cream cheese for a few weeks? I was forced to slap the mask on and go hunting. Boo, COVID, boo.

THE GOOD

Hand washing was the thing to do in 2020. When we had to start washing our hands after handling allergens or eating allergens, it was easy to add to our routine. We were already washing them to clean the germs, why not add in a few good washes before feeding the baby? We probably went through more soap this past year than for the first 30 years of my life. But at least it’s back in stock!

 

COVID, I’m ready for you to be over. I’m just not ready to deal with my kid eating in a back to normal world!

Top 8 Allergens RANKED

Before my daughter brought us down the food allergy rabbit hole, I knew a solid 3 (peanuts, tree nuts, and shell fish) of the top 8 (wheat, soy, egg, dairy, fish) allergens. I had looked at ingredient lists, but did not know the top 8 had to be specifically listed. I knew about lactose intolerance and gluten intolerance but had no idea that wheat and dairy could cause anaphylaxis. So, when we had our first appointment with the allergist and were presented with a handout with helpful tips for recently diagnosed kids, I eagerly read the entire document.

My take away? Being allergic to peanuts is THE WORST. Peanut butter is one of my favorite foods. It’s an easy way to get protein into your kid. It’s delicious. Peanuts make everything better. Being allergic to peanuts is 100%, undeniably, the worst.

Then she got diagnosed with an egg allergy.

Okay, so peanut butter is delicious, and we’d have to steer away from Asian restaurants, but we had slowly come to terms with the reality of the situation. Eggs, though?! Not only are eggs delicious on their own, but they are in so many things! Pancakes! Muffins! Cakes! She can’t have birthday cake!

And then, she got diagnosed with a milk allergy.

Back when we thought being allergic to peanuts was the worst? I was so naïve. I was basing this opinion solely on the taste of the food. But that’s not the only thing that makes being allergic to foods hard. It also matters how many foods that thing is in.

So, may I present to you, the

ULTIMATE

(okay, it’s just my opinion)

DEFINITIVE

(feel free to disagree with me and leave some comments. I’m not going to change my mind but maybe it’ll make you feel better)

DATA DRIVEN

(I used numbers, ya’ll)

RANKING OF HOW MUCH DOES IT SUCK THAT YOU ARE ALLERGIC TO THIS TOP 8 ALLERGEN?!

I’ve put a lot of thought into it and no, I will not be swayed in my official rankings. The points are assigned in three important categories:

• Taste- how delicious is the allergen?
• 0 (poop) to 10 (last meal delicious)
• Prevalence- how many things can you not eat because they have the allergen it?
• 0 (it’s only found in 1 restaurant in the town over) to 10 (it’s sprinkled on everything you’ve ever eaten)
• Replaceable- how easy is it to substitute the allergen?
• 0 (no problem I can use something else) to 10 (nothing in the world could ever come close)

#8- Shellfish

Taste: 6/10
Prevalence: 1/10
Replaceable: 1/10
Total score: 8

I mean, just avoid shellfish right? Seems easy enough to just use a different protein in recipe. Then all you have to do is stay away from seafood restaurants and hibachi restaurants with flying shrimp! Not to mention most people are aware of this allergy. If you’ve got to have an allergy, this is the way to go.

#7- Flake Fish

Taste: 6/10
Prevalence: 2/10
Replaceable: 1/10
Total score: 9

The fact that fish is sometimes found in a wider range of food bumps it one notch above shellfish. You’ve got to avoid Caesar salad, anchovies on pizza, fish sauce (sorry Thai food!), and Worcestershire sauce. This means that in addition to staying away from seafood restaurants, you should probably stay clear of some Asian ones, too. Being allergic to flake fish sucks, but definitely not as much as the other top ones.

#6 Soy

Taste: 6/10
Prevalence: 5/10
Replaceable: 2/10
Total: 13

Truth be told, I love soy. I love soy milk. I love snacking on edamame. And I think tofu is actually delicious. You may not agree with my taste ranking, but it’s my list. What this really came down to is prevalence. There’s soy lechithin in a lot of delicious processed foods, however according to FARE, most kids allergic to soy can safely eat soy lechithin so you really just need to steer clear of Asian cuisine, vegetable broth, and a lot of meat alternatives. As long as you are not a vegetarian, you should be able to replace those things relatively easily, making soy come in just before tree nuts.

#5- Tree Nuts

Taste: 7/10
Prevalence: 3/10
Replaceable: 4/10
Total: 14

Tree nuts move up next because the amount of tree nuts that are used in bakeries, Asian, and Italian (pine nuts mean no pesto!). Tree nuts are delicious and people love to sneak them into all kinds of baked goods. You can’t exactly replicate a tree nut in recipes, but you can use seeds to add crunch and texture. Definitely easier to deal with than the next one on the list…

#4- Peanuts

Taste: 8/10
Prevalence: 4/10
Replaceable: 4/10
Total: 16

My love of peanuts pushed this above tree nuts. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, peanut butter is delicious. In a candy bar? Yes. In a curry? Yes. On a PBJ? Yes. Straight from the jar? Yes, please. Plus, look at this list of things that sometimes have peanuts:

• African
• Asian
• Mexican
• Baked goods
• Candy
• Chili
• Nougat

Are peanuts replaceable? Kind of. I did a whole blog post on the best peanut butter alternatives, but I still miss the real thing.

#3- Eggs

Taste: 8/10
Prevalence: 6/10
Replaceable: 8/10
Total: 22

Now we are getting to some big numbers. When I first learned about my kid’s egg allergy, I immediately mourned the loss of my morning fried egg. Not only are eggs delicious on their own, but they knock out an entire meal of the day. Goodbye breakfast. Goodbye brunch. It’s tough to go out for breakfast and find anything without eggs unless you are at a vegan restaurant. Pancakes, waffles, muffins, cakes, cookies, brownies out. Mayo out. Ice cream out. They are also hard to replace- scrambled tofu looks like scrambled eggs but it tastes pretty different. If you try the wrong egg replacer in baked goods, it can really make for a rubbery experience. Plus, there are just so many things in cooking (aioli, crème anglaise, custard) that get their texture from eggs. I’ve gotten better at cooking and baking without eggs, but I miss them.

#2- Wheat

Taste: 7/10
Prevalence: 9/10
Replaceable: 7/10
Total: 23

Bread. Pasta. Flour. It’s easier to list what wheat isn’t in rather than what it is in. If you are allergic to wheat, I’m assuming your relationship with rice and oats is up close and personal. The only saving grace for a true wheat allergy is the amount of people that have Celiac’s disease and gluten intolerance. There are at least more alternatives available in the grocery store. While the wheat free flour section has grown, will whatever you bake be a little more crumbly and a little less delicious? Probably. At least there’s always Cheerios.

#1- Milk

Taste: 8/10
Prevalence: 9/10
Replaceable: 7/10
Total: 24

It’s official. Being allergic to milk sucks the most.  Milk and wheat are pretty close, but hands down dairy products are more delicious. If I was Oprah and I was going to profess my love for a food, it wouldn’t be bread. It would definitely be cheese. Let’s look at all the delicious things humans have made from cow’s milk: butter, cheese, cream, custard, pudding, sour cream, yogurt. And we add it to so many things to make them more delicious: all kinds of baked goods, caramel, chocolate, margarine… Okay, so it’s in so many things, but is it replaceable? There are lots of options for dairy free milk that are ok. There’s vegan sour cream and vegan ice cream. But I have not found any vegan cheese that tastes anything like real cheese. Dearest cheese plate, I miss you the most. There’s a chance my kid’ll grow out of this one. So, let’s all cross our fingers and hope for the best. Until then, pizza, I’ll see you in my dreams.

So my kid has food allergies. What does the rest of the family do?

 

When my kid first got diagnosed with food allergies, we had an important decision to make- does everybody get the same food restrictions or do we prepare completely separate meals for the baby? At first it was a pretty easy decision. Avoiding peanuts as a family meant some substitutions for peanut butter spaghetti, a change in snack crackers (RIP peanut butter Ritz), and only eating Reese’s in secret. All doable things. But then as more allergens got added on (eggs, garlic, milk, and some tree nuts) it became a lot more complicated. Let’s look at the pros and cons.

Do I eat an allergen free diet like my kid?

Pro: I don’t have to make her a separate dinner every night.

It’s hard enough cooking 1 dinner, but then making a completely separate one for her AND making sure it’s balanced and healthy? That’s a lot of work.

Con: No cheese.

Without cheese, you can’t have pizza. No mac and cheese. No cheeseburgers. No reaching in the fridge and biting off a chunk of delicious cheddar for snack.

Pro: I don’t have to be so careful about cross contamination.

Some of the suggestions to prevent allergens getting from my food into hers include: making her meal first, making sure I’m using clean utensils for her food, washing my hands when preparing her food and when feeding her. But, it’s a slippery slope. How clean is clean? How well did I scrub that frying pan that was previously my morning egg pan? Do I need to wash that bad boy again before cooking her zucchini? And did I wipe down that peanut butter counter? Or did I just *think* about wiping down the counter?

Con: No cheese.

I mean, cheese. There’s just nothing like it. Hard cheese. Soft cheese. Fancy cheese. American cheese. I just love it all.

Pro: I don’t have to eat my food when she’s not eating her food.

I mean, I could theoretically eat while she’s eating. But what if she chokes? Then do I run to wash my hands for 20 seconds before finger swiping the trachea sized grape out of her mouth? Or do I do my best to wipe off my food my napkin and hope that whatever trace allergen she ingests will be better than choking? I mean it usually takes 10 minutes for her to start anaphylaxis. That would give me enough time to get her epi…

Even with no choking, feeding her still usually involves her politely (or impolitely) asking for more. Which would mean hand washing each time she wanted another cracker. And with COVID, I’ve been washing my hands enough.

Con: No cheese.

Guys. I love cheese.

 

For us, no love of cheese was worth the stress of eating allergens around our kid. I like everybody at the table eating the same thing (or, in my toddler’s case, refusing to eat the same thing). I’ve had to adjust what I cook. Ultimately, this system makes us much happier.

Peanut Butter Alternatives

 

Peanuts. Peanuts were the first allergy my kid was diagnosed with. It was life changing. My older son, with no food allergies, loves peanut butter. He loves getting peanut butter smeared on his face and wiping his peanut butter crusted hands on his shirt. Peanut butter sandwiches for lunch, peanut butter crackers for snack, peanut butter smoothies when it’s hot, peanut butter on apples in the fall. Peanut butter is sweet manna from heaven, and we mere mortals do not deserve it. 

There’s nothing like the real thing. I’ve searched. Nut butters. Roasted soy butter. Sunflower seed butter. Coconut butter. I’ve made replacements in cooking and baking. It’s just not quite the same. I miss the giant jars of slightly sweetened peanut butter that could survive the apocalypse without separating. The kind that with one bite transports you back to your childhood. Without peanut butter how do I load up my kid with fat and protein so she can grow big and strong? Well, we’ve tried some things. She seems to like all of them; you can’t miss what you’ve never had. My son and I, on the other hand, are still searching for the best alternative.

·        Almond butter: Okay, so it’s pretty ubiquitous. Unfortunately, it’s also not good. It’s not as creamy. It has a weird after taste. Also, most brands have warnings that it’s processed on the same equipment as peanuts. Why? Why would you do that? If you are trying to be a peanut butter alternative, explain to me why you would set up camp right next to it? Especially when maybe (probably) the only reason anyone is even looking your way is because they are allergic to peanuts? 0/10, would not recommend.

·        Pecan butter: What a delightful surprise! I love pecan butter and I love that it isn’t trying to be peanut butter. It is its own, unique, delicious spread. Maybe it’s the southerner in me coming out, but I love pecan butter. Spread it on some crackers it tastes like a pecan pie. Add it to (vegan) icing and it really tasted like butter pecan ice cream and your birthday cake had a baby. It’s delicious. But it’s definitely NOT peanut butter.

·        Wow butter: I think what we have here is a case of unrealistic expectations. Wow butter, made from roasted soy beans, includes a sticker that you can send in your kid’s lunch box that warns people that it looks and tastes JUST LIKE peanut butter but it’s safe to take to school. The marketing really set itself up for failure. Is wowbutter bad? No. Is it good? Not really. Is it peanut butter? No. Nope. No. The texture is just a little bit off. It tastes just a bit burnt, like they forgot to set a timer when those poor soy beans were roasting. Don’t just take it from me, though. This is the one peanut butter alternative my toddler just won’t eat.

·       Sunbutter: This one has a lot things going for it. It is the only one on this list that doesn’t include one of the top 8 allergens. Sunflower seeds are delicious. I think it’s got the closest taste to peanut butter. While it definitely falls short if you take your spoon and try to eat it straight from the jar, if you are making a PBJ, a SBJ isn’t that much different. Plus, the longer I go without eating real peanut butter, the better this tastes. It’s our go to for replacements in baking and cooking.

Note: I haven’t tried other nut butters (cashew!) because my kid isn’t cleared to eat those yet. Fingers crossed we can add some more alternatives in the next year!

Another problem with all of the peanut butter alternatives? They are SO expensive. A jar of peanut butter was on sale for $1.99 the other day at my grocery store. Sunbutter, pecan butter, almond butter run $8-12. That’s insane!  

Introduction

 

There’s not really a word for what my kid’s diet is. She’s like a… carnivorous vegan? She can’t eat eggs or milk, but loves pork shoulder. It’s both somehow less restrictive (she can eat meat!) and more restrictive (she can’t have peanuts and garlic?!) than a real vegan diet. There are all kinds of diets- Keto, Paleo, intermittent fasting, plant-based, low-fat, Mediterranean, DASH… But what’s the word for when you want to give your kid a well balanced, healthy diet, but suddenly half of the food pyramid causes anaphylaxis?

And for every diet, there’s a different reason to cut out certain foods. Weight loss? Sure. Heart health? Yeah, buddy. Better for the planet? Combat that global warming, friends. But what about if the diet is not a choice? This isn’t a midlife crisis or another half-hearted attempt at a New Year’s resolution. It’s 100% mandatory. If she eats food from a restaurant and the cooks weren’t careful with it, she might have just earned herself an epinephrine injection in the leg and a 4 hour emergency department visit.

You know how you can tell somebody you’re vegan and not only do they know everything you can and can’t eat, but they also assume you are an animal hugging, granola eating, natural deodorant wearing hippie? I want that. When I say my kid has multiple food allergies, I want people to say to themselves, oh she’s one of those crazy moms. I want them to understand immediately that I want them to keep their kid’s birthday-dairy-plastered-deadly-cake hands AWAY FROM ME AND MY BABY. I want her day care teachers to go, “oh I better always have that epi on hand when she’s eating”. I want my family to automatically know why I’m making everyone wash their hands WITH SOAP AND WATER before they come hold my kid.

“Food allergies” should mean all those things. You should hear food allergies and you should think of My Girl and thank God that epipens exist. But instead, you think of the rows of gluten free baking mixes at the store and people who claim they are allergic to things after getting a questionable internet DNA test. You know, the people who use “allergic” when they mean “intolerant” and make the rest of the world question whether real food allergies exist.

So, if you have a kid with some food allergies and want to commiserate about the good old days when you could eat cheez itz straight from the box and wipe your yellow, lethal milk powder coated hands on your shirt without a care, advice on which peanut butter alternative is the best (JK nothing is as good as the real thing), and talk about the best way to make a muffin without egg, then welcome. I understand your pain. If your kid just got diagnosed with allergies, maybe we can learn stuff together. I have always tried to be understanding of diet restrictions, but there’s no way to prepare yourself when food allergies happen to your family.